The Flower Dream

I had a dream.
I saw God kneeling beside a pathway. He was working intently, preparing some soil. Opening the ground, He planted a seed. As He worked, the seed grew. A flower began to bloom. He took gentle care watering and grooming the flower. After a while, when everything was perfect, He stood and returned to His throne. He waited and watched with anticipation. On the edge of His chair He sat staring at His creation. Then, in the distance, He saw me. I was walking the path. Barely breathing, He continued to watch. I walked quickly, with purpose. Like a breeze, I came and went, not taking notice of the gift He had left. With a sigh, He sat back. He thought to Himself, "It was perfect, but she missed it." After a few moments passed, He got up and returned to my path. Again, he knelt down and began to create. He spared nothing, putting every bit as much effort into this flower as the last, "Maybe this time she'll notice...maybe she'll smile...maybe she'll realize how much she means to Me." He worked until, once again, He saw me down the pathway. He returned again to His thrown to watch in anticipation. My walk was slower this time. There was a new look in my eyes...a desire...a longing. I approached the flower and stopped. It was perfect...the most beautiful flower I had ever seen. I knelt and admired the work of art. Smiling, I rose to my feet and continued on my way. "It worked! She smiled!" God thought to Himself. I have to do it again. Over and over God returned to the path, making sure each time the gift He left was just right. The more flowers I saw, the more I was filled with the understanding of God's love for me. I began, occasionally, picking the flowers. As I would see people along my path, I would give them a flower. I took pleasure in watching them find the same joy in this creation that I had found. Eventually, my path was completely overrun with the most beautiful assortment of wild flowers. Anyone who crossed paths with mine stopped in amazement. Some picked the flowers, and continued to carry them down their own paths. I began to realize that my life's path was beginning to change the paths of others' lives. I couldn't help but stop and worship. "Thank you, Lord, for giving me this gift to pass on to others. Thank you for using me. What an amazing God...how creative and brilliant your plans are...to plant a flower to reach so many people!" That is when I heard the soft voice of my Father, "I planted that flower to see you smile."

Brothers

So I'm reading about Moses and Aaron, two brothers who have been chosen by God to be leaders amongst the nation of Israel. By the time I get to Exodus 31, these two men have been through quite the adventure. They've seen God get Pharaoh to release the Israelites, they've seen God part the sea and then turn and drown the entire Egyptian army, they've drank water from a stone, they've feasted on bread and meat straight from the hand of God. Over and over they've seen God miraculously come through for them.
Sometimes, when I read stories like this I think it would be so easy to have faith if I lived back then...I would never doubt God if I were able to witness these types of miracles.
Then chapter 32 comes and totally blows all my theories.
The Israelites are waiting for Moses to come down from the mountain. He said he was going to meet with God, but he's been gone for so long. They begin to wonder if he is ever coming back. They start feeling neglected and impatient. Aaron starts feeling the pressure of leading alone. The people are discontent...they want an answer, they want solutions, Aaron has to act. So, what does he do...he finds a God alternative. No big deal, just simply meeting the need as a leader. The people need a god to worship and the One they had is seemingly nowhere to be found. So Aaron molds a golden calf and they begin to attribute all the wonders of the God of the universe to their new graven image. "Oh, golden calf, thank you for saving us from the Egyptians...thank you for meeting our needs." Aaron served the cool-aid and everybody drank it.
It's mind boggling to me...how did Aaron get here? How did the entire Israelite nation get here? How did they witness so many miracles and then turn at the slightest bit of adversity. It's simple, their relationships with God were solely second hand.
Aaron was living like so many Christians live today. We go to church, get a message, and maybe even catch a vision. Someone tells us that we are called, so we jump on board and ride the wave. Then out of nowhere, we find ourselves in a different situation...God seems distant. We think, "maybe it had nothing to with tithing...maybe I was just good at budgeting" or "maybe the healing had nothing to do with God's power...maybe the doctors just had all the answers." We start being able to logically attribute every miracle in our lives to something or someone other than our Creator, because we never actually met Him face to face. And before we know it, we are chanting nonsense to a golden calf, and have completely lost track of where we've been.
The big difference between Moses and Aaron...Aaron was holding on to the coattails of another man's relationship with God, while Moses was climbing the mountain and meeting God face to face. It is not enough that our parents believe or that our pastor has faith...we have to have our own tent of meeting...our own experience where we come before God and get to know Him. Then, when He seems distant, we will know the truth and we will wait on Him.

Getting to know me.

I sat down with a book today called, "All About Her". Curtis and I both received copies of these books when we were first married to help us get to know each other better. Funny enough, over 4 1/2 years later, they are still both blank. I'll admit, I've almost tossed them on many occasions. To my husbands dismay, they were about to be shipped to goodwill not more than a month ago.

At first I kind of thought it was silly that he wanted to keep them. Doesn't he already know my favorite restaurant?...what I like to do on a rainy day?...and do I really want to put all my clothing sizes in writing???
But as I opened the book today, I started thinking. It is so wonderful to have a husband who still wants to pursue me. He doesn't even care if he already knows the answers to every single question in this book...he just enjoys the gesture of me continuing to reveal myself to him.

It makes me think about my relationship with God. The God I serve knows the exact number of hairs on my head. He knows my thoughts before I think them. He knows my answer before He even asks the question. So why does He ask? Why does he tug on my heart?
Because He's crazy about me. He loves to pursue me and be pursued by me.

My husband knows that I love him, but he still enjoys it when I whisper it in his ear. I think God feels the same.

I love you Curtis.

God requires action

I was reading in Exodus about the first passover. I find it interesting that the Lord had the Israelites take the blood from a lamb and put it across their doors to avoid their firstborn being killed. It's not like God didn't recognize His own people. He wasn't passing by each home wondering whether it belonged to an Egyptian or an Israelite. He didn't have to keep them up all night, slaughtering animals, eating hastily, painting doorways with blood, and burning leftovers...he could have just let them sleep right through the whole thing. So why didn't He? I think he was faith building. Letting His people know, "If you obey me, even when it doesn't make sense, I will be faithful and deliver you." He was giving them a role within a testimony that they would be able to proclaim to generations to come. He was preparing them to walk through the wilderness. Psalms says, "When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul." What does God's consolation look like?...it's not a big hug or a pat on the back...it's not a promise that trouble will not come again. It is the testimonies in our lives. The times that we look back on and say, "When we obeyed the Lord, He made a way for us." I'm thankful that God let's us play an active role. I don't want to be sleeping through my miracle.

Running from miracles.

Today I decided to take the girls to McDonald's playland. While watching them play I was approached by a man who noticed my element church hoodie (how could he not...they're so sweet!) He asked me a lot of questions about the church and what we believe. From there, he talked about knowing that he was on "satan's short list" because he was not afraid to pursue the Holy Spirit. It reminded me of the promo video for Jeff's next sermon series, The Wild Goose Chase. You can check it out at:
http://www.elementinsider.com/
Between the video and my conversation with this man, I have been thinking a lot about the idea of living life in an intense pursuit of the Holy Spirit.
I often become content with my Sunday school Jesus, who always calms the storm and never rocks the boat.
Yesterday, in my quiet time I was reading about the Lord calling Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. So there Moses is, tending the flock, when he notices something strange....a bush is on fire. And even though the bush is on fire, it does not burn up. At this point, Moses doesn't know that he is in the presence of God...all he knows is that normally, when bushes are on fire, they burn up. So he goes in for a closer look. Then, out of the burning bush, God decides to speak and informs Moses, a man who stutters and has horrible stage fright, that he will be marching up to Pharoah and demanding that he let the Israelites go free. So now Moses is at a crossroad, he can ignore the call of God on his life and return to tending the flock, or he can drop everything and pursue the adventure that God has presented to him. The only problem is that Moses doesn't feel adequate...the mission is to scary...it's too dangerous...it isn't possible. I guess it must have slipped his mind that the God of the universe it speaking to him through a bush! It is easy to see the risk instead of the miracle. A couple verses later the Lord tells Moses to throw his staff to the ground. As soon as Moses does it the staff turns into a snake. What does moses do?...is he convinced that God can do anything?...nope...the man runs! Why?...because he sees a snake! Again, it is easier to see the risk than it is to see the miracle.
The story challenges me to look past the fears in my life that keep me from really pursuing God. I don't want to run from miracles...I want to pursue the One who makes all things possible.

Goals

Jeff's last sermon challenged the church to set realistic goals that we can pursue over the next 21 days to create habits. I thought I would blog mine, so that I can have some accountability as I try to make some much needed changes in my life. So...here they are:

1. Set a consistent time during the day to have my devotions...I have decided to do my devotions during the girls' nap. It is the most quality time I have (due to morning sickness) and is the most guaranteed right now.

2. Verbalize what God is doing in my life. When I share what God is doing in my life it makes it more real to me. I have decided to give a testimony to at least one person each day about what God is doing.

3. Give up a bad habit. I have decided to give up drinking soda. I have actually not done too badly limiting my soda lately, but I think it is something that I easily struggle with and I would like to just give it up all together.

4. Have intentional prayer time. I have decided to break my prayer time into intercession, worship, and meditation.

These are the four things for now that I would like to pursue in the next 21 days. I am looking forward to what God does in my heart and also looking forward to continuing to add to the list and work toward living the perfect day, every day.