I had a hard time sleeping last night. Our First Wednesday service played over and over in my mind. It's an overwhelming reality to know that before the sun rises, hundreds will die for the cause of Christ.

The truth can be paralyzing sometimes, can't it.

If you are anything like me, the stories of martyrs can bring frustration..helplessness.

I feel worthless.

Here is what God has whispered to my heart today...

"Do I not require the same sacrifice from all who are Mine? Do I ask one man for everything and another for nothing? To love Me is to give Me everything. It is not in your moment of death that you give it all...it is in the moments of life that you choose to lay everything down. Offer yourself as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Me."

Life is so full of change. Two weeks ago all I could think about was women's ministry. This week I have been completely consumed with reaching 6th graders. With so much change taking place in my life's strategy, I am finding it vitally important to reinforce my life's vision.

I, Heather Marshall, exist for the sole purpose of making Jesus famous.

Someone probably just read that sentence and found it very lacking...that's ok...it may not be your life's vision.

But it's what everything comes down to for me. And although my strategies often change...from youth ministry, to women's ministry, missions, the homeless, the broken, the rich, the poor...regardless of where life takes me, I have my constant. Making Jesus famous is what keeps me together. Without clear vision, the loss of a ministry is devastating. Without clear vision, life changes can leave us lost and confused. But vision brings life...it keeps us looking for what's next. It keeps us ready for what's coming. You wanna get me pumped?...ask me about my strategy. You wanna bring me to tears?...ask me about my vision.

One of my favorite quotes is from two Moravian boys who sold themselves into slavery to reach the lost. "May the lamb who was slain receive just reward for His suffering." There goal was to see Christ get what He deserves. Initially they did that through a 24 hr prayer service. They then moved to outreach. Finally, they left behind everything, jumped on a slave ship and gave their lives to accomplish their vision. Through many changes in strategy, the vision remained.

"Without vision, the people perish."

What is your vision? What goal do you press on toward? When life brings change...what is your constant?

It's 5:05 and I can't sleep. My four year old asked me a question recently that I can't seem to get off my mind, "Mom, what is holy?" My quick reply, "Well, God is holy." (as if an answer like that would fly with a child...please). "Yes, but mom, what IS holy?"

Not gonna lie...I blanked. The only thing going through my mind was, "holy...is not me." I posted "what do I know about holy" to fb just to see what others had to say about the issue. Seems to me that all any of us really know about holy is that it isn't us.

SOOO...where do all wise people turn when they need a quick answer?...yep, I googled it.

Holiness - "A state of being sacred"

Sacredness - "Something that is venerable" (say what?)

Venerable - "impressive - due to age, character, wisdom or value."

Ok, so maybe google wasn't the best place to start. In Exodus 3:4-6 Moses takes off his shoes, because he is standing on holy ground. Does anyone else find it frustrating that dirt can be holy, yet we find it so difficult?

When the temple was being built, God instructed the room entered to be known as the holy of holies. The deepest room in the temple was the Most Holy Place....the place where God was. So is holiness all about proximity? God is holy...impressive, His presence demands change. The closer we get to God the more holy we become...the more our lives demand change. We become impressive in the sense that just as being in the presence of God changes us, being in our presence influences others. I envision this like getting so close to God that we become stained by him.

Ok, my new definition of holy- Being so close to God that I become stained by Him. I think I will go add that to Wikipedia now :-) Thanks for entertaining my middle of the night ramblings.

Mark 4

Spent some time thinking about this story...

Jesus asks His disciples to go out in a boat to get away from the crowds. The storm comes, the disciples freak out, Jesus fixes everything. But what I've been thinking about is all the people in all the other boats. The bible specifically says that other boats went out as well.

The disciples see, first hand, the power of God to change their circumstance. But what about everyone else that is going through the same storm. Sure, they may see the waves calm down and the wind die down, but they don't see that all of nature has just submitted to the voice of its Creator.

They don't realize the miracle they are experiencing because Jesus is not in their boat, He's in ours.

The only way they will know is if we tell them.

There is power in the word of our testimony, because as we express what God has been in our life, we allow others to recognize Him in their own.

Faith like a child

A few days ago, the Lord started speaking to me about having faith like a child. It is amazing what we can learn from our kids.
A conversation with Anjali yesterday went like this...

Anjali: Why are you getting that sweatshirt?
Me: Because I don't want to be cold.
Anjali: I don't want to be cold either. God, would you please help me to find my sweatshirt?

Anjali then walked into her room, opened her closet, and said, "I found it!!! thank you, God!!"

About five minutes later...

Anjali: mom, will you zip up my sweatshirt?
Me: sure
Anjali: thanks, God.
Me: I'm not God, silly. I'm mommy.
Anjali: No, I was thanking God for helping you zip my sweatshirt up.

Anjali knows something I sometimes forget...All good things come from God....all of them.